Number 1: Judge Haha
Yours truly was in Yeovil County Court representing a client, Mr Smith, who had been involved in a road traffic accident.
I met Mr Smith for the first time when I arrived at the Court. It turned out that he wasn't actually a hairdresser, as he'd told me and his insurance company, but was the owner of a public house. A tad naughty but no matter - we were there because liability for the accident was disputed and his occupation was irrelevant in that context.
The accident happened on the approach road to Yeovil railway station.
Mr Smith was following the car in front, driven by a Mr Jones. At the top of the approach Mr Jones swings left and then hard right towards some industrial units. Mr Smith T-bones him as he's making the turn.
Before the Hearing I have a chat with Mr Jones' barrister, who we'll call
Mr Counsel. We agree that this is a classic 50/50 liability split - Mr Jones should have indicated his intention to turn right and Mr Smith should have been driving at a safer distance behind him. Alas neither driver was willing to accept a compromise settlement - so in we go to see the Judge.
We go through the evidence. The accident happened on a New Years Day around midday. Mr Jones maintains that he indicated. Mr Smith is adamant that he didn't. Mr Counsel cross-examines Mr Smith..
"What time did the accident happen?"
"Oh it was around ten to twelve"
"Ten to twelve? I see. And what time was your train?"
"Ten past twelve"
"Mmmm. Were there any other trains to your destination on that day"
"I put it to you Mr Smith that this accident happened fifteen minutes later than you say it did. You caused this accident because you were hurrying for the only train running to London that day. This accident actually happened at five past twelve didn't it? You were tailgating Mr Jones and had you not been in such a rush this collision would never have happened"
At which point the Judge pipes up
"Mr Counsel, are you trying to imply that this train was running on time?"